ah, this living is harder than it seems...in the words of my man Jack Johnson. yeah life is tough, but I guess only as bad as we let it be to us. My cars transmission went out and it is costing me 1200 bucks to fix it. Almost as much as I paid for the car. I have been sitting here stewing and steaming and getting more and more angry about the whole thing. Mostly I am angry that there is no way for me to know if the repair place were to be scamming me. It could be that just one part of the clutch needed replaced and they are telling me that the whole thing needs fixed, or they could be telling me the truth, but there is no way for me to know. Oh and it makes me so angry. But today I was thinking about it and the fact is...I have this car, it needs fixed. I can fix it or not. It is my decision. No one is forcing me to. And it is a waste of energy to be angry. So I am gonna try not to be. I mean there are lots of good things that I could think of...for instance the car lasted for my trip to dallas and back over Christmas time. That would have really sucked if I had broken down while driving to or from. So I should not complain.
Now the further complexities of life...the perpetual man in the scene, or i should say, not in the scene. Well he pops in and out i guess. he is coming to town tomorrow. I am probably gonna see him for a couple of hours at most, if at all, he will be between loads(truck driving) and I have to work tomorrow night so it doesn't leave a lot of time. I am not sure whether I want to see him. It seems to be an aweful lot of heartache and not all that much fun....though I still do have fun with him sometimes. but i don't know how to be anymore since things are different. oh woe to me and my weak heart.
well anyway, I am gonna head off to the library now with jen and get some food for my mind.

Song of the day...JACK JOHNSON...ON and ON...the whole album! :D