I am so BORED!!!!!! so bored that i fear i shall go out of my mind. I could not sleep that much this morning after work so I think that it is a mixture of just being tired and well,... the fact that I am here alone practically all the times that I am off! I get really bored really quickly when it is just me having to entertain myself. Even though I have a list of things that I could do that would probably keep me busy for the rest of my life, I don't feel like doing all those things alone! Why did God create us as communal beings? I mean if he is not going to provide soulmates for us, why did he give us such a desire to share our lives with someone. If it were not for that desire I could get on with my life, but no...I have to pine away day after day, wishing that someone existed that I could relate to...or wishing that the guy that i am still stubbornly, stupidly, ridiculously in love with would have made different choices...or that I could stop loving him. Life will not have it so. I find myself wishing I had never met him, but at the very same time I would never give that up. How terribly weak we are!
.....On a happier note, thirteen days till i fly to GR!!!!!!! yeah! I can't wait! and Abi is gonna bring her hookah so that we can smoke! man have i been going through withdrawel and longing for a good smoke, gin and tonic, and a lazy conversation among friends about anything that strikes our fancy! Those were definitely the days!